Overcoming My Fears...

Fear...

Confession, I let fear hold me back. I have a feeling I'm not alone in this. Don't get me wrong, I do believe in myself and my abilities (in some areas), but I have always given in to my fears. Sadly, this has held me back in the past. This last year has taught me a lot about who I am and how strong I am. Some day I will share more about the details of how I've physically gotten where I am today. I haven't been dealt the best hand as far as health goes. It's not the worst hand either, so I am thankful for that. These are things we have to learn to deal with. What doesn't kill you only makes you stronger, right? I gave up on myself in the past because I thought I was a lesser person for this hand I was dealt. I stayed in my safe zone and told myself that was where I needed to stay.

I don't know why, but this past year, I dipped my toe into the unknown and stepped out of that safe zone. Well, there may have been a little pushing from Tony to get me there, but it was a much needed push that helped me see the possibilities. In the past year I have completed my Specialist in Fitness Nutrition Certification, gotten my Personal Training Certification, built a business for this and started running! This year has empowered me mentally and physically!

The food, nutrition and exercising are not new to me. They have always been a part of my life. The certifications give me the credibility to put my knowledge to work and that feels great. Coaching people and helping them achieve their health and fitness goals makes me happy. I love sharing these personal journeys with others and finding what works for them to help them achieve these goals.

The running...well, that is new to me. I talked about my taking on this new journey to running back in June. Honestly, I started running for work. Not to make money for my runs, but so I could help coach others to achieve there goals in running. I have always hated running. I have taken some form of dance since I was a toddler and then moved on to aerobics when I couldn't take dance any longer due to school activities. I think some people are born runners and others, like me, were made to do other forms of exercise. I LOVE cardio interval training and I LOVE strength training of any kind. At any time of day, if you ask me if I want to workout, I will gladly go with you. However, in the past, if this meant running, I would have laughed. You see running isn't in me. Most people think that running should be or is easy since it's one of the most basic natural forms of exercise. I mean, really, all you need are shoes and some time, right? Um, not for me. For me, this was more of a mental struggle. I felt heavy, distracted and even bored. Then it dawned on me...running is a mental exercise. It's all about you getting along with your body and your thoughts. My brain wanders regularly. This is why I'm not great at reading most of the time or going to sleep for the most part. When the silence sets in, my brain starts to churn with worry, ideas (mostly cooking), the kids, the laundry, taxes, work...not the peaceful place it should be.

So, I started on this journey to learn how to run technically in order to teach my clients. I realized pretty quickly that this meant I was learning how to let go of things. The light bulb totally went off about 4 weeks ago. I realized that if I let go of everything, with proper knowledge of form and with the right shoes (Thank you Mizuno and Stuft Mama for my amazing shoes and including me in the Mezamashii Project! My feet and legs love you!) I could actually be a runner! No, I don't run for miles or time. No, I don't run to be in the cool club of runners (although I have found an incredible virtual support group that I can't deny feels amazing to run with! Heather, Jess, Jolene, Dory, Kristina, Amber, Melissa and Lindsay = pure inspiration). I run for me. This is my time to let go and actually be free of everything! Even though this is my peaceful time, ironically, I don't like to run alone. I know, weird. Tony is my running buddy. The man was actually born to run. His legs are little running machines! It's not fair, but I can out jazzercise him any day (that's what he thinks cardio other than running is...top hat and all). You should see his version of what I do...totally cracks me up. I pray I don't actually look like that, but I probably do. Now I need my group aerobics certification...a girl can dream!

Ok, I know this is going long, but I guess after having so much time to think lately, I've got a lot to type! So, for the first time in my life I actually feel like a runner! My legs crave the movement and my heart craves the endorphins from the run! I know what most of you are thinking...either "great another runner going on her crazy run talks" or "yay, now it's time for marathon training". Well, no, I'm not doing either. I am a reformed running hater for sure, but there are no marathons in my future. Now, maybe some 5k events, if I work up the courage, but I'm happy with where I'm at right now. I love my runs and I can finally set out to run and feel good doing it. That's all I ever wanted from it.

Ok, give it to me...do you let your fears hold you back? Ever taken a chance and come out better for it?